two

“That could have been Richard that I was dancing with; you really need to be more careful!”

“That guy was 5’4” maybe 5’6”. I know Richard is over six foot tall. I’ve met him, remember?!”

I let it pass this time; no point in creating a scene here.

“It’s been two long weeks,” Zachary says.

I wish I could say that I’ve missed him too. But I haven’t. I do, however, feel a prickle of desire tickle through my spine. For a second, I think of the last time we were together but I don’t allow myself to indulge. I don’t want Zachary to notice my weakness. He’ll take advantage of it. So, I look away… partly to hide my nervousness. I don’t want Richard to suspect anything - I can’t bear to see him hurt.

“Want to meet me in New York,” he says.

“When?”

“September 7th.

“No. I can’t.” I don’t know why I don’t just tell him that Richard will be there that week also.

Zachary has the same look in his eyes as my ten-years-old nephew when he didn’t get the Playstation 2 that he wanted for his birthday.


“I must find Richard.” This isn’t exactly true because I know exactly where Richard is standing. “Richard was supposed to make a toast to one of our honored guests thirty minutes ago. The band must be wondering what’s going on.” The toast isn’t due for half-hour but I know it’ll take some time to get away from Zachary.

“He’s probably just taking a leak,” says Zachary. “Stay with me.”

“No. It’s not like him to forget these things.”

It’s another ten-minute before Zachary lets me go. I love him for that, for his possessiveness. That’s how he is in bed too.

I hate him for that too. He’s too possessive and he’s starting to take our relationship too seriously. I had been attracted to him for his aloofness, for his detachment. I had thought he’d abandon me in a few months for the next pretty thing that passed by in front of him. Isn’t that how these things work?

I don’t know. I hadn’t dated much and had only had one serious relationship before meeting Richard. I was simply curious about Zachary. He’s so different from anyone I know… he provides a respite form the stifling social atmosphere of Silicon Valley. I can be myself with him…but…

What have I done!